:)))

Before, I use to cherish my sleep and couldn't wait to dream because it pulled me away from living in reality, it sent me into another land, away from my troubles. It took me to a place where I didn't have to worry about anything. Lately I have been excellent at keeping myself strong. One thing I never expected was my conscious entering with me, giving me situations similar to the ones in real life. That's it. I don't want to sleep anymore... I DON'T want to dream anymore. It's reminding me of the pain that I'm trying to hide. It's telling me that I can't run away. It's showing me things that I don't want to see, making me feel things that I don't want to feel. I'm scared. It's making me weaker. NO...no more...no more...WAKE UP!!!!!!!

And the most scariest part is If I wake up I'm back in reality where there is no one I can trust or go to for comfort. No one to talk to who won't judge me. No one to go to who doesn't pity me. No one to go to who truly cares... I'm facing this alone, and forever will be...good night!!

what that feeling?

When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong. But nothing is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. And you just want someone to be there and tell you it's okay. But no one's going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. But you're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it to be easy. To be simple. To be helped. To be saved. But you know you won't be. But you're still hoping. And you're still wishing. And you're still staying strong and fighting, with tears in your eyes. You're fighting.

tajuk pada hari ini: saya sangat penat,rasa mau putus asa/ i really fed up!

it really bothers me when orang/manusia/people take advantage of your kindness..siapa tidak meletup kalau mcm tu! I think that im a kind person and i just hate when people either take advantage of it or don't return the kindness..
i dun want to complaint but saya pun ada tahap kesabaran juga.. kita mahu majukan kamu tp kamu pula mau ambil kesempatan..d mana peranan kami?? macam kamu pula employer! btl2 muka tembok..kami ada rule and regulation and please dun break the rule..saya tidak benci tp tidak suka kena annoyed all the times..be frankly saya tidak suka bkerja dgn org yg tidak jujur dan tidak tegas! stress,gastrik sampi kmi scarified masa kami utk kasi maju kamu tp makin pula memijak! x pndi bersyukur btl!..mcm manala kami mau ikhlaskan hati bkerja..jangan sampai saya jadi singa suda la...i dun want 2 be like this for rest of my life..and please please...u all understand me!!

hepi sunday...o no!! i gotta back to school...

good morning! no holiday no life... i decided to not did the replacment class so that i miss 3 days holiday next weeks which is on monday,tuesday and wednesday.. so i've to works for that day in return there is no replacement class soon...
i seems like to be crazy,lazy and tired but i still get little bit energy to move on just because im not try to pampered myself. Then i still can spend my cuti hujung minggu after this..u know i hate when i need to works at saturday...make me so stress and fall in sick as well. I lack of skills to managed my stress..stress management is actually very important luckily i had learned it before since i was diploma level..and the subject is consumer behaviour and ingat-ingat lupa the name of my lecturer prof. ross..
kuala tomani 73km from keningau..oo long journey jugak..3 days no fb and no blog hehe...

yes my promises!

My new year promises:

1. to be the teacher i say i am
   
2. to laugh as much as i can..louder so louder :)
3. to be strong and wiser :)
4. will balance my works:)
5. will love my career
6. I promise to ask questions, not judge, and save up compliments
7. promise to not make so many promises that they become another weight to carry
8. and the most importantly I promise to the daughter to my mother should have, the teacher my students deserve,last but not least my relationship with allah swt.
   

my job stress me out so much!sigh...

im gonna quit my job before this stress kills me..huhu
i just hoping and praying dat this stress not affect my works performance.

hepi weeding day for u~

much love my friend..congratulations to a happy couple!
through the years and tears, happiness and joy,... Im honoured to be your friend and be here to see your special day For you's to accept each other in the most loving way the giving of rings, the happy ever after which i know will truly last So i give you my congratulations, a cheers and the Wedding will be a blast. Congratulations and All my Love...